In Part I, I talked about the importance of a “connection” with your partner as the basic ingredient for a great kiss. But how do you make a connection?

 

In order to do that the first thing you have to do is forget ‘technique’, relax, breathe and desire to experience this kiss, with this man this moment.

 

 

In this way, there is no ‘right’ way to kiss. Your desire to give and receive a great kiss is wanting to experience it WITH him not DO a technique TO him.

 

 

Our society in its quest for great sex focuses highly on technique and while some basic technical information is valuable, the over abundance of it kills intimacy in my opinion. The bottom line is each person comes with different preferences ‘technically speaking’ and you have to get to know your partner in order to find out what sparks him anyway. A mind focused “put A here while doing this to B” blocks your ability to focus on your partner and learn about his unique sexual identity.

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The hot and seductive movie “Bull Durham” has a great quote that comes from Crash Davis (played by Kevin Costner) who says…

 

 

“Well, I believe in the soul, the cock, the pussy, the small of a woman’s back, the hanging curve ball, high fiber, good scotch…. and I believe in long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days.”

 

 

I couldn’t agree more!

 

Seriously, of all the sexual things two people can do, kissing tops out as the most sensual, intimate, vulnerable, erotic and telling.

 

 

Our kissing style gives our partner messages about us, our mood, out intention, and our sexual identity…..

Since most communication is non-verbal have you ever received or given any of these kinds of kisses?

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I was discussing the issue of sex and dating recently with a single woman. 

 

Frustrated she asked, “If I have sex too early, I’m easy, if I wait too long, I’m a prude!
If a man likes me enough to wait for sex, won’t the same man still like me enough if he doesn’t have to wait?”

 

It’s an interesting question. I wrote about the value in waiting in my article Dating & Sex. But no matter how many different ways I tried to explain my position to this woman, she was stuck on the double standard and tried to ‘argue’ that because it wasn’t fair for men to want sex early with women and then judge them for it, she was going to ‘do what she wanted, even if that meant having sex on the first date sometimes and to hell with the double standard.’

 

I told her that was a fine choice so long as she would be comfortable with the consequences.
That only frustrated her more….

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How long should you wait before having sex? As long as possible and there are many reasons why.

 

If you already have a time frame for sex set in your mind: married first, engaged, or at the least in an exclusive relationship, I applaud you for thinking it through and honoring your values. But what if you don’t have boundaries set regarding sex.

 

Then what? Trouble…because that is when one of the following may happen.

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