The psychological kind, not the S&M kind…(that’s another post)!

People won’t fully appreciate what they have if they are allowed to take it for granted.

 

 

If you feel you are in a situation where your man is getting too comfortable or taking you for granted, you may need to shake his confidence a little.

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I finally met “Email man” in person. We’d been pen pals for a year and I gave him support and advice as he navigated the first year of his life post divorce. He told me about the women he met, I told him about the men I dated and we both appreciated the perspective of the opposite sex and complete honesty because our friendship was so removed.

 

I wondered if meeting would be a good idea because throughout the year he’d make comments from time to time that made me wonder if he held the thought that our “friendship” could grow into more. General positive comments about my personality or outlook on life….but nothing overt.

 

During our evening, which was at a local dance club with a group of friends, I felt more and more his attraction to me. I had learned enough about him throughout year to know that while he’s a great guy, he’s not for me. I didn’t go into our meeting with any thoughts of him other than a friend, but my fear that he would be coming with some hope was confirmed.

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I’ve mentioned my friend Anne before….her divorce is almost final and a friend wanted to set her up to meet a nice doctor pal of hers. Anne gave this lady permission to pass on her number.

 

Said man, we’ll call “No voice Vinnie” texted her one day introducing himself and asked if she’d like to get together for a drink sometime.”

 

Assuming he was at work since it was the middle of the day and thought he probably couldn’t talk, didn’t think much of the fact that a man she’d never met reached out for the first time to introduce himself- WITH A TEXT, and texted back that yes, she would.

 

He texted back that he was going on vacation in a matter of days but would like to get together when he returned. She texted that would be fine and to CALL her when he got back.

 

Awhile later, he texted again and said that “tonight was open if she could swing a last minute drink”. She actually could be free for a short time for a quick one so they made plans, VIA  TEXT, to meet later that evening.

 

20 minutes before they were to arrive at the restaurant, he texted her the following:

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Well, I have yet to meet “Email Man” in person. Our evening was cancelled because we were hit with a snow storm that dumped 6 inches of snow on us within 5 hours. The roads were terrible and the salt and plow trucks would not have been out until late into the night. I would have forged ahead, (yes, that’s how badly I need a fun night out-more on that later) but Email Man called to tell me everyone was bailing out because of the weather.

 

As it turned out, there was going to be a group of 9 for dinner, drinks and dancing.

We are going to try and re-schedule.

 

What did I do instead?

I slipped into my warmest, cozy lounge clothes and mixed myself my signature drink. 

The seductive, classy and incomparable “Dirty Martini”.

 

It’s difficult to find a great Dirty Martini in clubs and restaurants.

They invaribly make them too dirty (dirty=olive juice) which ruins the drink. And if you order a Dirty Martini and request that it be made “extra dirty”, well, that’s a dead giveaway that you shouldn’t be drinking them anyway.

 

It’s overwhelming how many Martini recipes there are. It’s not easy to find the perfect mix to suit your tastes. But I found mine….

 

My Perfect Dirty Martini:

 

• 2 1/2 oz. Grey Goose Vodka
• 1/2 oz. Vermouth
• 1/2 Olive Juice
• Straight up, Shaken not Stirred (Like Bond)
• Garnished with 3 Blue Cheese Stuffed Olives

Every seductress needs her own signature drink. Now let me say here-an ice cold beer on a hot summer day is wonderful, fabulous, and I love it, but we are shooting for something more here. Something pretty, feminine, classy…you get the idea.

 

It doesn’t have to be an “adult beverage” either. If you don’t drink alcohol try any non-alcoholic Spritzer, Daiquiri or Sparkling Wine. Your signature drink becomes unique to you; part of your personal style. It should be served in an attractive glass and you should feel sensuous slowly sipping it. Especially if you lock eyes with your target while doing so.

 

Of course there is nothing more romantic than sharing a bottle of red wine, good conversation and great food (you know I love to eat) with the man I’m seducing, but other times…….I just have to get “Dirty”.

 

What’s your signature drink?

I met a man via online dating about a year ago. We emailed a few times but we never had the chance to meet in real life because at that time I had already been dating “Sail Man” (marriage minded #2) for a couple of months and was about to enter an exclusive relationship with him.

Here are the facts:

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We’ve all heard the stereotype that women don’t eat on dates. They order a few crackers and a celery stick and can’t finish them or worse an entire entrée but just pick at it and move it around their plate.

 

I wondered just how true this could be.

So I asked some of my single friends if they eat on dates and most of them either eat lightly or pick. The reasons they gave are “I’m too nervous” or “I’m too self conscious about how I look eating in front of someone new”. After a few of my own dates had commented on how refreshing it was to see a woman actually eat on a date (I eat) I realized this is in fact a huge phenomenon.  

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