The psychological kind, not the S&M kind…(that’s another post)!

People won’t fully appreciate what they have if they are allowed to take it for granted.

 

 

If you feel you are in a situation where your man is getting too comfortable or taking you for granted, you may need to shake his confidence a little.

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In Part I, I talked about the importance of a “connection” with your partner as the basic ingredient for a great kiss. But how do you make a connection?

 

In order to do that the first thing you have to do is forget ‘technique’, relax, breathe and desire to experience this kiss, with this man this moment.

 

 

In this way, there is no ‘right’ way to kiss. Your desire to give and receive a great kiss is wanting to experience it WITH him not DO a technique TO him.

 

 

Our society in its quest for great sex focuses highly on technique and while some basic technical information is valuable, the over abundance of it kills intimacy in my opinion. The bottom line is each person comes with different preferences ‘technically speaking’ and you have to get to know your partner in order to find out what sparks him anyway. A mind focused “put A here while doing this to B” blocks your ability to focus on your partner and learn about his unique sexual identity.

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I’ve mentioned my friend Anne before….her divorce is almost final and a friend wanted to set her up to meet a nice doctor pal of hers. Anne gave this lady permission to pass on her number.

 

Said man, we’ll call “No voice Vinnie” texted her one day introducing himself and asked if she’d like to get together for a drink sometime.”

 

Assuming he was at work since it was the middle of the day and thought he probably couldn’t talk, didn’t think much of the fact that a man she’d never met reached out for the first time to introduce himself- WITH A TEXT, and texted back that yes, she would.

 

He texted back that he was going on vacation in a matter of days but would like to get together when he returned. She texted that would be fine and to CALL her when he got back.

 

Awhile later, he texted again and said that “tonight was open if she could swing a last minute drink”. She actually could be free for a short time for a quick one so they made plans, VIA  TEXT, to meet later that evening.

 

20 minutes before they were to arrive at the restaurant, he texted her the following:

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I’ve talked a lot about setting your goals and establishing a clear picture of what you want in a man.

 

I found this awhile back and thought it was interesting. The list is very comprehensive. The more things a man can check off of this list shows his experience, bravery, knowledge and competency.

 

And he’ll have a few amazing stories to tell I’m sure.

Thought you might like to check it out. http://lifestyle.msn.com:80/your-life/bigger-picture/articlepm.aspx?cp-documentid=11258170

 

Here’s the list:

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I’m reading a motivational book entitled “Lead the Field” by Earl Nightingale. It’s a fascinating book laying out a model for success in any area of one’s life.

 

In it he teaches a lesson we have all heard before from the self-help community: What you think is what you become. In fact, “You are the living embodiment of the sum total of your thoughts to this point in your life; you can be nothing else.”

 

That quote actually made me quite uncomfortable. Although I “know” that to be true intellectually and believe it, I also like to blame. I like to blame circumstances, other people’s behaviors, the economy, my current problem, my upbringing, my genetics, my education or lack thereof as convenient excuses for any goal or achievement I “say” I want but am not working toward or accomplishing.

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A Book Review of:
Date or Wait: Are you ready for Mr. Great?

Author: The Dating Goddess
Website: DatingGoddess.com

 

Beginning to date again in midlife after a long absence is not unlike looking down from the front car of a roller coaster at the top of that first drop. You know there will be twists and turns, you know some of it will be exhilarating, some of it scary; you’ll definitely laugh, maybe scream and maybe sometimes cry. But the Dating Goddess is here to remind you that it is always one heck of a ride.

 

And she should know. After dating 91 different men in 3.5 years she has much wisdom and encouragement to pass on.

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“My boyfriend and I have been together for six months. We have no major problems other than things have gotten a little dull. We fell into a routine, which on the one hand is kind of nice because we are comfortable and know where we stand with each other but on the other hand things are starting to get boring.

If I feel it, I know he can.
We call each other every day to touch base with usually a text in the morning and call at lunchtime. We see each other as often as we can, maybe three or four times a week. Even sex has fallen into a pattern. That might be my fault because I’m a little insecure with my body. I don’t initiate sex; I wait for him to do it. He has expressed to me that he would like me to initiate sex sometimes. I just don’t feel very sexy or confident about my body. I love sex with him but I don’t take control.

I’ve been reading your blog and I realize that I am very confident at my job but not confident sexually. I know he loves me but I want to shake things up and ‘rock his world’ but I don’t know how.”

~Sarah~

 

Sarah,

When I ask men what makes a woman sexy the most common answer has been “If she thinks she’s sexy”, or a variation “When she feels sexy on the inside, it shows on the outside”.

 

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Here is a recent question from a reader:

 

Everything a man does while you are getting to know him gives you invaluable information about who he is, what’s important to him, and what you can expect more of in the future.

                                                                                              

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