The hot and seductive movie “Bull Durham” has a great quote that comes from Crash Davis (played by Kevin Costner) who says…

 

 

“Well, I believe in the soul, the cock, the pussy, the small of a woman’s back, the hanging curve ball, high fiber, good scotch…. and I believe in long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days.”

 

 

I couldn’t agree more!

 

Seriously, of all the sexual things two people can do, kissing tops out as the most sensual, intimate, vulnerable, erotic and telling.

 

 

Our kissing style gives our partner messages about us, our mood, out intention, and our sexual identity…..

Since most communication is non-verbal have you ever received or given any of these kinds of kisses?

                                                                                                          

 

From “Passionate Marriage” by David Schnarch, Ph.d.

 

“The soft but electric kiss of a familiar lover.

The hard kiss of passion.

The breathy, languid kiss of tasting and smelling each other’s body.

The gentle bite on the lip from someone begging to be ‘rode hard and put away wet.”

 

 

Or what about these?

 

 

“The mushy, limp kiss of passivity and withheld eroticism.

The perfunctory kiss on the way to the office.

The sloppy, soupy, wet kiss that triggers anger rather than desire.

The rigid-tongued kiss of the mechanical lover.

The smothering kiss that rekindles childhood fears of an intrusive, engulfing parent.

The impatient kiss of a partner preoccupied with more important things.

The bad tasting kiss of the inconsiderate partner, whose ‘If you love me, take me as I am’ attitude becomes the bludgeon for take-it-or leave it lousy sex.

The begrudgingly given kiss of the ‘you can’t take me for granted’ lover who demands tooth-brushing and mouth-scouring…before a meeting of the tongues.”

 

 

If you want to be a truly seductive and sensuous woman, you better know how to send shivers up his spine with just your kiss.

But how do you know if your smooching is any good?

 

 

I can give you a list of ‘techniques’ to practice and many advice blogs and books do just that but more often than not it’s the person who is focused on their technique who is the lousiest kisser.

 

 

Everyone wants to be a good kisser. And because of that we become very aware of ‘ourselves’ during kissing and all things sexual. We may not even be completely aware of it or we are very aware that we are trying to DO what we read about or what we think is the right thing to do. This technique, that trick…..we may be thinking things like, “I need to use my hands this way, is he enjoying this? Am I doing it right? Am I responding enough? Should I take more control? Are my lips soft enough, firm enough or too firm? I hope my breath is fresh…..”

 

 

And while focused on all of that, you are completely NOT focused on your partner.

How much ‘connection’ with him do you think is being achieved?

 

 

ZERO!

 

 

When you tune out from your partner and tune into yourself, there is no connection. And without a real connection, there is no great, electric, wall socket, give him butterflies kiss.

 

 

The secret to being a great seductress, and kisser and lover lies in your ability to tune in to your partner.

 

To achieve a vibrational link with him–where you both are in sync with each other and can read each other’s need or desire to speed things up, slow things down, press harder, softer, lean in, tilt this way or that. You instinctively feel each other to the point where a flow happens so that spontaneous actions and reactions happen with no thought….HOT. Above all you are comfortable with yourself and he senses and feels it, physically and mentally.

 

In part II, I’ll give you some ideas on how to do just that!

5 Comments »

1. 

   Comment by Mike — June 28, 2009 @ 5:09 pm

   I remember when my ex an I were having problems. We didn’t kiss for years and I really missed it and how much it adds to a relationship.

2. 

   Comment by George — June 28, 2009 @ 7:18 pm

   I agree! Kissing really means a connection to the other person. If someone doesn’t want to kiss it’s because they are not feeling connected to you. Kissing is a must.

3. 

   Comment by Seductress — June 29, 2009 @ 8:48 am

   Mike…I’ve experienced that too. People can fake sex, but they can’t fake a kiss.

   George…I agree, I’m totally in it for the kissing!

4. 

   Comment by CJ — July 2, 2009 @ 6:58 pm

   I can tell when a man is connected to me during a kiss. I think women are more sensitive to the difference. And I am guilty of disconnecting myself. Usually it happens when I don’t have strong feelings for the man. Or if I am in a relationship with someone, if I am angry or we are fighting and it’s not resolved, I can’t let go and connect.

5. 

   Comment by hunter — June 26, 2010 @ 9:02 pm

   Men can buy dvd’s on the internet on foreplay/how to seduce a woman….

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