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Women Love A Hunter

February 7, 2009

My friend Anne’s divorce is almost final. Recently a pal of hers approached her with great news.

“I have the perfect man for you.” She declared happily.

She went on to tell Anne that a male friend of hers is also single.

“He’s an attractive doctor, upstanding in the community, and all around good man.”

She told Anne that she mentioned her to him and he seemed interested. Turns out they had in fact met many years before when they were both married at a party but don’t really recall much about each other.

Anne agreeing that all of it sounded good and looking forward to dating told her friend that she could pass on to Doctor-Man that she’d be interested in meeting him too.

The friend pulled a business card out of her purse and said, “Great, here’s his card, he told me to tell you to call him.”

What’s that sound? Oh yeah, it’s the air coming out of her balloon.

What is this man thinking?

Does he really expect a woman whom he doesn’t know to make the next move by calling him on the phone?

What does he expect her to say? “Um hi, So and so told me you wanted me to call you. Yes, you don’t know me but apparently we are both single so here I am….”

How desperate would she look?

Why would this be desired or attractive for a man?
Is it an ego trip to have women coming after him?
Have men forgotten that THEY are the hunters?

Don’t they know it is masculine and gentlemanly and HOT to us to watch them go after what they want in life?

Especially when it is us.

That for most women (there are exceptions who enjoy being the aggressor-which I shall never understand no matter how it’s rationalized) viewing men as the strong, self assured, confident, and take charge guy gets our engines revved and it begins from the first moment and way they make contact with us.

Men-It’s not sexy to pass your phone number through a friend and request that the woman call you.

It doesn’t look cool, it doesn’t make us want you more or see you as a challenge; it doesn’t look manly.

Some of you may be thinking that he doesn’t know her, doesn’t remember her, isn’t sure she would want to meet him, isn’t sure she’s ready to date yet, isn’t sure he would like her….and so he is being respectful by giving her the control to decide for herself what she wants to do.

That very well may be his honest take on the situation but….

Sorry, not hot.

It appears (even if it’s not true) lazy, insecure, unsure, or showing half hearted interest at best.

Clearly he is interested to some degree. After all he passed along his number. Therefore, even with the most remote interest a man should hunt and make the move, never ask the woman to.

Why?

Because women like it.

Because men get major attraction points for it.

Because it’s in a man’s best interest to do so.

And because if a man follows this guy’s lead, the woman he gives his number to may do what Anne did. File it at the back of her phone book because she never intends on using it.

Let’s say Doctor Man’s motives were all the sensitive ones above.

What could he have done?

Since they run in the same circle, he could have asked their mutual friend to help him plan a night out with a group for cocktails at a local restaurant. No pressure, not a date, they get to meet.

He could have asked their mutual friend to ask Anne if it would be okay for him to call her sometime.
Again, no pressure, she could decline.

There are always ways to be the hunter, be the masculine one and yet be respectful and not pushy if it’s an uncomfortable situation like theirs as they don’t even know each other.
The solution is NOT to avoid any discomfort by asking the woman to do it for him.

Women love the hunter.

What do you think? Am I too hard on this guy?

Post tags: Calling men, Dating Tips, Hunters, making the first move

Posted in: Dating Tips

13 Comments »

Comment by Mike — February 7, 2009 @ 10:39 pm

Not at all. I tell women the same thing about guys who wink at them with online dating. They have no balls so pass them by.
Comment by Sian — February 8, 2009 @ 12:02 am

Not being hard at all Seductress. I certainly wouldn’t call the guy either..but seeing this communication is through a 3rd party, she doesn’t really know what has been said to him. Her friend may be the sort of woman that chases guys, and could have orchestrated this whole dynamic. Who knows?

If I were her I would open up the possibility of organising a meeting, by saying to her friend ” you know… I am not that comfortable in calling a guy that I dont know, especially seeing this whole meet was not even my idea..hey..but I am always open to meeting new people whether male or female..so if you organise a drinks night, or dinner party and he is going, let me know and If I am free I will join you all”

Just my 0.2
Comment by Sian — February 8, 2009 @ 12:14 am

Postcript: forgot to mention…It has been my experience that friends who have said they have the perfect guy for me OBVIOUSLY have no idea on what type of guy I am attracted to.Either that or their perception of me is way off the perception I have of myself!!! The last time this happened to me, I came away with the realisation that said friend of 25 + years has no idea who I am as a person. I was actually quite offended she set me up with this guy.
Comment by George — February 8, 2009 @ 12:07 pm

I don’t think you are too hard at all Seductress. I do agree with Mike and Sain. People tend to get lazy. It could be a generationaly new thing that is creeping its way into the older generation. My God child Nick, has had girls come up to him and ask him out…a lot. Maybe there is a strange role reversal thing going on…which I don’t care for. Be a man and have the balls to ask a lady out like a hunter should. As for friends fixing people up…I think half the time they say…”You’re single…she’s single why not?” How stupid and incensitive is that.
Comment by searchingwithin — February 10, 2009 @ 5:13 pm

I probably never would have taken the card from the friend at all, because I would have just chucked in the garbage anyway.

I have had several men lately try and give me their number, with the request for me to call, and I flat out tell them that just does not fly with me, and at that point they have lost any chance of getting my number.

~Best Wishes~
Comment by hunter — February 14, 2009 @ 12:37 pm

I think men read and hear the, “give her your business card/telephone number” method, in books and single seminars. In any case, if the man does this, the woman can turn the card over, write her telephone number on it and give it back to him!….
Comment by The Seductress — February 19, 2009 @ 10:01 pm

I’m happy to hear that you all agree with me. This societal push to blend the sexes to a point where there is no “male”, or “female” basic standards of behavior is detrimental to dating in my opinion.

Men, be the hunter and ladies, be ladies….

The Seductress
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Comment by The Seductress — March 20, 2009 @ 11:24 am

Hunter, Great idea and I’ve done this….turn the card over and write your number and hand it back.
I prefer this when you are in person, although that is just me.

The Seductress
Comment by That_guy — June 10, 2009 @ 4:28 pm

Sorry, m’dear, I’m going to have to disagree with you.
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Comment by Janice — October 12, 2009 @ 4:22 pm

I disagree with all of you! When a woman has the guts to call a man she demonstrates confidence and confidence is VERY SEXY! ask any man out there!It says to the man, she can have any man she wants but she’s interested in ME and chose me from all of them! What better male ego buster than that to start a great relationship?
I don’t wait for a man to pursue me although I enjoy it very much; if I see something or someone that I want, I go for it with gusto and give it my best shot in the most femenine and seducing way possible. I’m very attractive, sweet and intelligent and don’t lack romantic interests nor marriage proposals. I’m looking for my one true love and will not settle for less, therefore I must use all that is available to me for that purpose. You could say I’m a modern amazon woman and men love me for that as many has said I’m their dream woman and have been in love with me for years and continents apart.