I broke up with “Sail Man” a couple of months ago. I’m ready and excited to begin dating again but for awhile there I was quite content to be alone, reflect on our relationship and just plain enjoy the sudden burst of free time that was previously filled with him. Ours was an eight month relationship  but even if you have been short term dating several different people of the course of a few months or a year its a good idea to give yourself a break from time to time to reassess, regroup and reorganize.

Reassess

In my article “Set Your Goals” I showed you how to create lists to help you define the qualities you are looking for in a man. You should refer to these lists often while dating to compare your candidates qualities to those you are looking for.

“Me Time” between dating and relationships is a great time to review your lists and make any necessary changes. Perhaps a quality that was once important to you isn’t anymore and you’d like to replace it with something else.

Read your lists daily; meditate on them, day dream about the man you want to meet. When our minds are finally clear about what we want and we decide we will get it, the universe realigns itself to deliver.

Regroup

If you’ve met a stream of Mr. Wrongs, Borings, or Losers lately or if you’re hurting from a difficult breakup you may not be feeling very confident about the quality of men out there or your ability to attract the quality ones.

The worse thing you can do is adopt the “Bitter Woman Syndrome”.  No man is attracted to a bitter woman and they can spot her from a mile away.

Re-read “Confidence Is A Choice, Not A Feeling”. Get back into your groove, do the things you love, let go of the past, forgive the men who came before and focus on the future.

The Law of Attraction states that Like Attracts Like so if you are a genuinely happy and like yourself first, you will meet confident and happy  men.

Reorganize

When our outer world is orderly, we can’t help but feel better inwardly too. Ask yourself if there is anything in your life that you have neglected or that needs attention.

Take this “Me Time” to accomplish some of those things. Indulge in your own life, home and self before sharing it again with another. You will feel organized, centered, lighter.

• Clear out and/or organize closets or tackle a decorating or home improvement project that you’ve been planning.
• Reassess your wardrobe. What works, what goes to charity and what needs attention (mending, alterations). What are you missing? Good excuse to go shopping!
• Take a vacation or long weekend. If you can’t get away, plan a spa day alone or with a girlfriend.
• Is there a hobby or class you’ve wanted to try? Karate, cooking, yoga, investing…Increasing your knowledge and experience not only improves your own happiness but adds to the value to have to offer in a relationship.

Jumping from man to man or one relationship to another with no alone time in between speaks to a deeper underlying problem. Usually an attempt to avoid some form of insecurity the distraction of another. If you think there is a roadblock within you that prevents you from wanting to ever be alone or from choosing healthy partners, consider getting some counseling to resolve it.

Life is too short to not live fully!

Seductive women are happy, self fulfilled, outgoing, sensuous and free. Each aspect of your life speaks to the overall identity others see in you. Don’t rush into another relationship or rebound into another man. Take time and take care!

2 Comments »

1. 

   Comment by CJ — January 22, 2009 @ 11:13 am

   When I was younger, I was one of those women who always had to have a boyfriend and only broke up with one when I had the next one lined up. For me it was immaturity and I grew out of it when other more important things in my life took precident like my career.

   Some people never grow out of it…

2. 

   Comment by George — January 25, 2009 @ 1:06 pm

   My sister falls into the category of always wanting a man and never working on herself. A guy can tell when a woman is troubled upstairs. There is nothing worse than dealing with someone else’s bagage that they themselves have not gone through yet. Taking time between dating is great for both men and women. I agree with you completely.

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