We’ve all heard the stereotype that women don’t eat on dates. They order a few crackers and a celery stick and can’t finish them or worse an entire entrée but just pick at it and move it around their plate.

 

I wondered just how true this could be.

So I asked some of my single friends if they eat on dates and most of them either eat lightly or pick. The reasons they gave are “I’m too nervous” or “I’m too self conscious about how I look eating in front of someone new”. After a few of my own dates had commented on how refreshing it was to see a woman actually eat on a date (I eat) I realized this is in fact a huge phenomenon.  

                                                                                               

 

I eat on dates. I love to eat, live to eat and feel that most of life’s celebrations or problems should be shared with food. I know, dangerous attitude. But because I eat healthily- low fat, good carbs, moderate portions and was blessed with good genetics, I’ve never had a weight problem. In fact, I’m quite slender. But let’s not forget sweating quarts at Ballys regularly.

 

Food. It’s one of life’s greatest joys and I’m not passing up the chance for a wonderful meal that a new and interesting man is treating me to because of “food embarrassment”.

The men I’ve dated sure seem to have enjoyed my healthy appetite.

 

But there was that one guy…..

 

I met a new man at an Italian Restaurant one snowy evening. We had only exchanged a handful of emails and this would be our first meeting. After a drink before dinner in the bar we moved to our table.

 

He chose an appetizer which we shared with the bread basket. Then we both ordered our entrée. Mine- Sautéed Whitefish with redskin potatoes and green beans. It came with a side of Pasta. Yummo!

 

During our meal he talked a great deal about the business he owned. I commented and asked questions periodically and answered his questions but for the most part, he did the majority of the talking. So while he talked, I ate.

 

Awhile later the waitress came to take my plate and it was the first time he had noticed that I was completely finished with my meal. Completely. My plate was so clean; there was not one green bean, not one lonely redskin left. His meal was only half gone.

 

In feigned dramatic surprise…I think, maybe it was real…he looked at my plate, then looked at his and said to the waitress “Oh my God, get this woman another menu, she needs more food, STAT”.

 

“What can I say…I was hungry”, I replied coyly and sweetly.

 

“I can see that” he said.

 

The waitress didn’t bring another menu, but she did bring the dessert tray.

 

He encouraged me to order dessert. I declined.

 

He pushed.

 

I declined explaining that I don’t care for sweets, never order dessert and was quite full as he could imagine after finishing my meal. I told him that if he would like to order dessert, I would enjoy an after dinner glass of wine while he ate it.

 

He said he did want dessert but I had to have at least one bite.

 

I agreed and he asked me to pick the dessert.

I refused saying that HE was the one who wanted it so it made no difference to me.

“Please” he pressured, “it all looks good and I can’t decide.”

 

As a woman, I had to choose the chocolate cake.

 

A huge piece of chocolate fudge cake oozing with thick frosting arrived and I took a bite as promised.

We chatted and I took another bite.

We chatted.

 

I noticed that he was not eating the cake. My “quota” had been met so I put down my fork and asked him why he wasn’t eating.

 

“I lied, I didn’t really want dessert”, he replied.

 

“What?” I asked confused; not so sweetly this time. “Why did you push me to order this then?”

 

“I just wanted to spend more time with you. And watch you do what you love to do….Eat.”

 

I laughed, let the darn cake sit there and wasn’t quite sure how to take that comment.

 

Andiamo a mangiare!

 

 

Seductresses, do you eat on dates?

 

Hunters, does it bother you when women “pick” at their food and not eat on dates?

 

 

7 Comments »

1. 

   Comment by James — December 29, 2008 @ 9:35 am

   I think a woman should always eat on a date. Let us flip the coin, as they say, I feel more comfortable eating when I’m eating with someone, who wants to eat with a bird simply picking at her food. I feel odd when I’m the only one at the table with a healthy appetite and who wants to go out on a date with an empty stomach.

   So please woman, feel comfortable to eat, most women I know say that they do eat plenty on dates…it’s a free meal so why not fill up!
   James

2. 

   Comment by CJ — December 29, 2008 @ 12:14 pm

   If I’m really attracted to a guy, I tend not to eat very much because I am nervous. I eat more if I feel so so about him.
   But I always avoid ordering messy food like spaghetti. Even eating a salad can be difficult when the dressing drips down your chin…
   Do men worry about these things?

3. 

   Comment by Anne — December 30, 2008 @ 6:46 pm

   As a way of being seductive, I try to eat seductively. I take a long time to slide the food off my fork.

4. 

   Comment by hunter — January 2, 2009 @ 1:07 am

   The few women I have been out with, have their dinner with no problem.

   I don’t worry about food on my dates chin, isn’t that what napkins are for?

   Is their any room for imperfections, while on a date?

5. 

   Comment by Mike — January 2, 2009 @ 8:27 pm

   I know for myself I don’t usually eat much on early dates and I will rarely schedule dinners until I’m more comfortable with her.

6. 

   Comment by The Seductress — January 3, 2009 @ 2:18 pm

   Interesting Mike, I think this occurs mostly with women, but you show us that nervousness can affect how men eat on dates as well…

   The Seductress

7. 

   Comment by AgtShadow — January 7, 2009 @ 4:42 pm

   I don’t have a problem eating on a date and, of the women I’ve gone out with, I have yet to encounter one who was shy or cautious about eating dinner. I will admit, though, that I follow the same “rules” as I do for luncheon interviews – nothing too smelly, messy or extreme. (It’s a fuzzy rule.) Dessert would depend on the atmosphere, conversation and gauging the likelihood that my date would want some too, but I’m generally disinclined (for appearances more than anything – I love sweets).

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